Building upon the interconnected communication factors discussed in the previous installment of the Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering Communication Types series, this final article, "Communication In General," addresses the one critical element often missing from general communication: the skill of knowing when to stay silent.
While previous
discussions focused on effective expression and decision making, this
conclusion will explore the psychological and spiritual necessity of privacy in
achieving your highest goals.
Only talking is not essential but to talk effectively and have the awareness of
what you are talking to whom is important.
Before discussing about this topic for Communication In General; check out below reference links of previous Beyond Small Talk articles as below:
- Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering
Communication Types I
- Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering
Communication Types II
- Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering
Communication Types III
- Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering
Communication Types IV
- Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering
Communication Types V
1. Speak
Right: The Power of Words
2. Body Language: The Non-Verbal Flex
3. Listening Skill: Stop Waiting to Talk
4. Communicate with Confidence: The Best Ornament
5. Communicate with Gratitude
6. Communicate with Mindfulness
7. Decision
Making
8. Communication
in General
Out of this I have already discussed the first 7 factors; now in this article I will discuss the 8th factor i.e. Communication in General
1. Communication in general:
We are born with the gift of speech, but the real skill is knowing when to stay silent. Whether it’s personal or professional communication, we often treat 'inner circle' friends and 'casual' friends’ the same, near ones or so-called near ones and start sharing with them our deepest desires and upcoming goals. Gaining true wisdom of timely understanding who is really your true well wisher is also a skill.
Did you anytime face this situation that some desire
or some of your wish is deep down in your heart and you were sure to complete it.
And so in excitement and in immense happiness you have already shared it to many people. Then with a good strategy you started working on it. But days passed, months passed,
may be years passed and you are surprised that with having a very good
strategy, sincere, hard and smart work your that desire is not getting
completed and it is about to fail. You get disappointed, demotivated and
doesn’t understand what is the problem. Here you are not able to understand
where you have mistaken as technically all was good from your side. Now here
the reason is your tendency to spread these words to everybody around you
before that desire or goal is actually getting completed.
Why Sharing
Your Goals Is a "Red Flag" 🚩
The Vibe
Check:
Not everyone is
your "day one" supporter. Even people who smile on your face can
carry subconscious envy or jealousy. Spiritually what I understood out
of this is the big goal, the wish or the desire which is quite close to your heart;
when you want to manifest it; it has very sacred desire to complete it. But
when you share it to your surrounding people truly speaking all may not be your
well-wishers; although they show it. So when you randomly share your desire or goal to people you catch the Nazar or Evil Eye for that goal.
Spiritual
Obstacles:
In spirituality and in Hindu culture, we call this Nazar (नजर लागणे)—the Evil Eye. It’s the negative vibration of envy that can stall your manifestation.
The Energy
of "The Look" and the Energy Leak:
It sounds weird that this happens, but there’s a deep spiritual logic behind it. When you’re in the "manifestation" phase, your goal is like a delicate flame. By sharing it too early, you expose that flame to everyone else's wind and attract bad vibrations for it. In spirituality, these bad vibrations are called badhas(बाधा). When you "over-share," you invite these low-frequency energies into your workspace, creating invisible obstacles.
Scientific Setbacks:
Scientifically sharing goals early releases dopamine prematurely.
So the more you are sharing it to multiple people every time the dopamine
releases for that goal before even completing it. It is making your brain
feel like you’ve already won, which kills your actual motivation when the time comes to work on that goal (this is a
proven psychological effect!).
The Advice seeking strategy:
For seeking advice from other people some people may share their goals prematurely. In this case know who are your true well-wishers, especially
the person you are approaching should consult you from neutral point of you. And when somebody
consults you; what they do actually they share their opinion based on their
experiences and knowledge. But it is your mind, your life, your experiences so the strategies for your goals could be altogether different from whom you are seeking advice. So sometimes it works and sometimes doesn't.
If you feel that you are weak in taking decisions then
master your decision-making skill, so that you can take your decisions
yourself. Gathering data or experiences from people is ok. I have seen many people highly qualified, well-educated but fail to
take decisions in their life and they spend years and years in it as
they depend on others for taking decisions so they never able to take decisions
by themselves in their life. Ideally education should enlighten your life for growing your knowledge, your sensibility and should make you self-sufficient for taking your decisions independently. Then i call it is true education you achieved. On the
contrary I really appreciate those people who take quick decisions based on
their research, knowledge and judgement in life, act on it and ready to take
risk if any. Plato said –
A good decision is based on
knowledge and not on numbers
I believe that being mature is
not only about being aged. In some of my blogs I mentioned wise elders; means, those who are wise
by gaining wisdom from life’s knowledge and experiences. So, it is quite
possible that a 22 years old girl/boy can be mature and wise but any 100-year-old man/women
despite of his/her age is not wise and mature.
As well as there
are some situations in life where there is nothing like right or wrong decision;
but taking decision and acting on it is very important. In that case take the decision ethically
and make it right by fixing problems around it. 😊
Anyway, to solve this dilemma of oversharing. You can
try this –
Get some goal to complete for you, some major
achievement and try not to disclose it to people till it get completed. And
then see what is the result of it. I personally experienced this many times and
found that when you don’t disclose your big goal to anybody randomly then it
gets completed so easily, miraculously and give outstanding results to you. And
you find it was unbelievable for you to complete it. And so it is very
important to –
Protect Your
Energy:
Be careful
about who you share your goals with; keep your big goals private until you
have successfully completed them.
The Final Thought: Move in Silence 🤫
Whether you
call it "protecting your peace" or "gatekeeping your
growth," the result is the same: Privacy is power. Think of your
goals as a "sacred secret." When you keep your plans between you and
your work, the energy stays concentrated. It’s not about being
"secretive" because you're shady; it’s about being selective
because you’re serious.
The Rule of
Thumb:
Don’t announce the harvest until you’ve gathered the grain. Let the results do the talking for you.
Your Communication & Growth Checklist
Use this checklist to ensure you are applying these skills in your daily life:
- Own My Decisions: Am I making this choice based on my own research, or am I waiting for someone else to tell me what to do then I will do?
- Move in Silence: Have I kept my next big "mission" or goal a secret to protect it from jealousy and obstacles?
The Summary: "The Art of Strategic Silence"
Ultimately, this article serves as a guide for the "Wise Communicator" to master internal decision-making and protect their mental energy. It advocates for a shift in strategy: moving in silence and "protecting your peace" until your results are ready to speak for themselves. As the author concludes, true maturity is the ability to validate your own path without needing external approval.
In this final installment of the Beyond Small Talks series, the author explores why our greatest ambitions often fail the moment we broadcast them. By weaving together the cultural concept of Nazar (the Evil Eye) and the Psychology of premature dopamine release, the article argues that "moving in silence" isn't just about secrecy—it’s about energy conservation. True maturity, the author suggests, is the ability to validate your own decisions without seeking external approval, ensuring that your "sacred desires" have the quiet space they need to grow into reality.
✍️ About the Author - Chhaya Shinde: "The Wise Communicator" is an insightful observer of human behavior and a bridge-builder between traditional cultural wisdom and modern personal growth. As the creator of the "Beyond Small Talks" series, she specializes in dissecting the nuances of how we connect, speak, and—most importantly—when we should stay silent. Rooted in traditional Indian heritage but focused on universal truths, Chhaya empowers readers to master their own decision-making, protect their mental energy, and lead a life driven by wisdom rather than noise.
Let’s Connect! 🤝
If you found value in the Beyond Small Talk series and appreciate a communicator who balances strategic precision with cultural insight, let’s take the conversation further.
Beyond my passion for personal growth and human behavior, I specialize in Professional Documentation Work.
Let’s collaborate to make your professional communication as powerful as your "sacred desires."
Connect with me on LinkedIn to discuss your documentation needs:
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