Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering Communication Types V

In our previous discussions in the Beyond Small Talk series, we explored how the words we choose—like "Thank You" and "Sorry"—and the presence we bring through Mindfulness define the quality of our relationships. But there is a deeper level of communication that speaks louder than any word we utter: The decisions we make and act on it.

Before diving in this topic of Decision Making here check out the preview of the previous Beyond Small Talk articles reference links as below:

• Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering Communication Types I

• Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering Communication Types II

• Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering Communication Types III

• Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering Communication Types IV

Some factors that influence communication types are listed below:

    1. Speak Right: The Power of Words

    2. Body Language: The Non-Verbal Flex

    3. Listening Skill: Stop Waiting to Talk

    4. Communicate with Confidence: The Best Ornament

    5. Communicate with Gratitude

    6. Communicate with Mindfulness

    7. Decision Making

    8. Communication in General 

Out of this I have already discussed the first 6 factors; now in this article I will discuss the 7^th factor. 

 1. Decision Making:

The Anatomy of a Decision:

Decision-making is a vital soft skill every person must acquire in their life. But from childhood when you look around, you notice that most of the people doesn’t have this skill. Most of the decisions in life need risk to be taken while sticking to ethics but here only most of the people fail. Either they are not able to take decisions at the right time or take decisions in haste or under some pressure so in these situations if they take decisions either they fail in their decisions or they fail to follow ethics and then the further problem makes their life miserable. But whatever the situation is every person should be able to acquire this skill to take right decisions at the right time. One more important aspect of decision-making is when the person is able to take decisions successfully from a neutral point of view while following the ethics. Whatever choices you make in your life these are the product of decisions you make so needless to say; it makes success or failure in your life. Like Pythogorus said –

Choices are the hinges of destiny

Better decision-making skill comes to a person when the person work on himself/herself for the shortcomings.

The "Shortcomings" Insight:

Based on the shortcomings if people make decisions, then most probably, they fail. The shortcomings could be like decision making during anger, aggression, ego, to act fast, in haste, with insufficient knowledge, immaturity, seeing an opportunity like it is never coming opportunity and then acting fast without proper findings, just to get things done or whatever. So most of the time the decision taken in all these shortcomings fails and then person repents over it.

Decision-making is more than just "picking an option." It is a vital soft skill that involves a structured process of identifying a problem, gathering data, and evaluating alternatives to achieve a specific goal.

Decision making skill building parameters:

1. The framework to become self-sufficient:

First of all, I believe that parents play a very important role in making their children self-sufficient while taking decisions. Now you will say, it is quite obvious. As per the child grows the child start taking some decisions by themselves. But no in most of the cases still this thing is not practiced. I see most of the parents believe in over protecting their children, may be due to their lack of time for the children or any other circumstances. But being a daughter in a family the most precious gift my parents gave me from my childhood is building confidence in me and giving me opportunity timely to take my decisions by myself. And helped me to grow this skill in me over the period of time. 

When I was young around 6/7 years old, my mother sometimes used to tell me to buy some or other small items from a nearby grocery shop. She used to give me some money and instruct me to buy that item, verify the item and take the remaining money back from the shopkeeper. In such small age I was just started understanding numbers and the basic mathematical functions. But when I used to buy something, used to verify the item and then the shopkeeper used to give me money back, after that transaction when I used to give that item to my mother and tell her the price the shopkeeper charged and the remaining amount, I received back. I used to be happy and get the confidence that I can deal successfully to such financial tasks, though small it is. Ideally this should be the first step of financial education to every child. 

This even is a first step to gain confidence in taking small decisions. Here in case if I didn’t get the same item of same type in the shop, I used to get some other item instead of the one my mother told or used to take the different item, based on my decision. So sometimes my mother used to praise my decision or sometimes she used to dislike it completely and used to tell me to return the item back as it was not what she told. So what decisions we take; how the decisions affect us and others around us that I learned here. As I am from middle class family so I learned decision making through these small things as I grew up. But these small things really helped me to grow as a person. Rather I would say the middle-class lifestyle truly helped me to become successful in life. This really helped me developing my decision-making skill too.

2. The Overprotection structure:

Frankly speaking I don’t know nowadays how many parents give their children this learning, which I feel is really important for a growing child. If yes then they understand the growing child development strategy very well but if not then they are missing to develop many skills related to it in their children. 

Irrespective of the parents financial condition whether they are rich or poor it is very important to train children from their childhood to face the practical world. 

From childhood if children doesn't train to do small transactions for money independently then it is a big loss to a growing child as the child misses the practical knowledge of talking with strangers fearlessly, bargaining for the thing they want to buy, handling money carefully, understanding the importance of the item as the value for money. So, such children when grow up, they don’t understand how to handle money, how to respect money, how hard to earn money or how much important it is to earn money and become self-sufficient for the value of money. This directly affects the financial aspect of child’s life of handling money but it indirectly affects his/her capability to take decisions in life. 

May be one disadvantage of that is such children are not able to take small or big decisions in their life easily. They get scared to take timely decisions or big decisions in their life. They get scared to take risk and act on some decisions. They become stagnant or passive in terms of decisions making and feel it good if their parents take decisions for them because the burden of decisions they don’t want to carry. So till this age while noticing the surroundings I understood that despite of having higher education or not; most of the aged or adulthood people though in the adulthood are not able to take decisions in their life. They depend solely on their parent or a friend or some advisor to take decisions for themselves and tell them what to do next. Which is really not good thing for that person’s own development.

Better decision-making increases confidence and creates an identity for you. Once the person's confidence, knowledge and capacity to decision making increases the communication skill of the person also improves. So, children should be taught to do small practical tasks of going to grocery shop, food Mart, vegetable shop or gift shop and take decisions to buy something. To exchange money, to communicate smartly with the shopkeeper, take small decisions.

And when the confidence in them grows, not arrogance then they should be given an opportunity to take big decisions in their life for themselves. Even should be told to them by their parents that if they take particular decisions then what would be the advantage or what would be the loss for them. So that they get habit of facing the risk factor also. This way their decision-making skill can be improved.

A common strategy to follow while taking any decision:

1. Define the Problem: 

Be specific about the problem

2. Gather Information: 

Collect data, talk to people, your trust system, (I don’t recommend random asking for advice for your decisions, may be to your colleagues or so-called friends. Because if you win or fail nobody has to do anything as far as the person is your true well-wisher. Otherwise, it becomes just an entertainment story for them if you fail) and identify constraints (time, resources etc.). For my personal standpoint I listen to all those I seek advice from but do what best suits for me and what is best to be done in that situation. I don’t carry the pressure of somebody advised so I must take that decision and act like that only.

3. Identify Alternatives: 

Brainstorm at least 1/3 different ways to solve the problem. Don’t overthink the negative possibilities. By overthinking negative possibilities, you never act on the decision. This is also called as “Analysis Paralysis" or FOBO (Fear Of Better Options).

4. Weigh the Evidence: 

Use a pros/cons list or a Decision Matrix to score each option against your goals.

5. Choose and Act: 

Make the call and execute. Indecision is almost always worse than a slightly imperfect decision. This is where most people falter; paralyzed by the fear of failure or swayed by the noise of outside opinions, they never move. Fear of failing is more dangerous than wasting time in research and doing nothing.

If you spend too much time in the research and never act on it; then people will begin to question your capacity to lead. That "perpetual researchers" eventually lose the trust of their peers. Speed is a form of competence. To succeed, you must be willing to take risks—but you must be clear on the "cost." It is okay to risk your time, money, or ego. It is never okay to risk your self-esteem.

Integrity is the cornerstone of every decision. Being ethical in decision making is very important. In a digital world, your ethics are your personal brand; they are the visible manifestation of your strong character. While an unethical shortcut might secure a short-term win, it inevitably trades away your long-term reputation. Beyond the public cost, there is the private one: the "inner conflict" or cognitive dissonance that erodes your peace of mind. True success requires a decision that satisfies both the bottom line and your conscience.

6. Review the Outcome: 

After acting on the decision evaluate the results. Did it work? What changed you found the next time? What is the result you got. Is it what you expected or much better than that.

And if you won then pat yourself and give yourself a reward. But if you fail then don’t get disappointed. At least you took decision and acted on it; could be a big deal for you.

So, to summarize -

Master Decision Making: Don't rely solely on others to decide for you. Define the problem, gather your own information, and—most importantly—act.  Whatever decisions you make in life as it becomes successful, it increases confidence in you and ultimately your communication skill.

The Final Word: Your Life is the Sum of Your Moves

We often spend our lives waiting for a "sign" or a perfect advisor to tell us what to do. But as we've seen, the most successful people aren't those who never fail—they are the ones who were brave enough who make their own choice.

Decision-making is the ultimate act of self-respect. It says: "I trust myself enough to handle the outcome." Whether you are deciding on a cloud security at work or anything else, remember that Indecision is the only true failure. Take the risk. Follow your ethics. And even if the result isn't what you expected, celebrate the fact that you were the one holding the steering wheel.

So, in next article I will discuss more on Communication in General.

About the Author: Chhaya Shinde (B.E. Computers) is a Google Certified Cybersecurity Analyst and RHCE with a passion for high-impact communication. With a career built on 17+ years of navigating the evolving IT landscape, she understands that the most critical "firewall" we build is our own character. Through her blog, which has reached over 38,000 readers, she dismantles the barriers of indecision and overprotection, helping a new generation of professionals master the anatomy of a decision. When she isn't securing cloud environments, she is documenting the soft skills that turn "small talk" into meaningful connections.

Follow Chhaya on LinkedIn to move beyond small talk and master the "hinges of destiny" in Cybersecurity and Technical Documentation.

Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering Communication Types IV

While continuing with the next series of Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering Communication Types in this article i am discussing some more factors which affect the communication skill.

But before that just for your reference check out the preview of the previous Beyond Small Talk articles reference links as below:

• Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering Communication Types I
• Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering Communication Types II
• Beyond Small Talk: The Impact of Mastering Communication Types III

Some factors that influence communication types are listed below:

    1. Speak Right: The Power of Words

    2. Body Language: The Non-Verbal Flex

    3. Listening Skill: Stop Waiting to Talk

    4. Communicate with Confidence: The Best Ornament

    5. Communicate with Gratitude

    6. Communicate with Mindfulness

    7. Decision Making

    8. Communication in General

Out of this I have already discussed the first 4 factors now in this article I will discuss the 5^th and 6^th factor.

1. Communicate with Gratitude:

In human life, there are two magical words we can use: "Thank you" and "Sorry." These words are very powerful and have the power to change even a sorrowful situation into a positive one. (For a deeper dive, read my previous article: In the Loop of Thanks and Sorry)

Avoid the "Gratitude Debt" Whether someone is making you smile, showing you what exactly true friendship is, standing beside you in your tough times, supporting you in your tough times, or helping you with difficult tasks, the list of reasons to be grateful for is quite long. In all these situations, you shouldn’t keep a "debt" of thanking the other person.

• The Unpaid Transaction: When someone helps us and we don't thank them, it leaves a transaction "open" or "unpaid" in the universe.

• Settling the Account: By thanking them immediately, you "settle the account." This prevents guilt from building up in you and prevents resentment from building up in the other person.

• Validating Effort: Humans have a basic psychological need to be "seen." When you say thank you, you aren't just being polite; you are telling them, "I saw what you did, and it mattered."

• Strengthening Relationships: This strengthens the bonds. People stop helping those who don't acknowledge them—not because they want a reward, but because they want to know their effort wasn't wasted.

The Psychology of Validation (Being "Seen") A simple "Thank you" works wonders because the other person understands that you acknowledged their help or efforts.

Staying Grounded: Gratitude to the Divine One should have a habit of thanking the Divine timely for whatever comfort exists in their life.

• Connecting to Roots: Keeping a positive outlook and gratitude is like staying connected with your roots. When we thanks the "divine" or "others," we admit that we did not achieve everything alone.
• Killing the Ego: We acknowledge that we are part of a larger support system (friends, family, God). This prevents arrogance and keeps us grounded.

Gratitude as a Strength of Character If you find a good quality, habit, or gesture in someone that helped you, keep an open heart and appreciate them.

• Secure vs. Insecure: People who have a narrow or calculated outlook can’t appreciate others openly; they keep a "miserly" attitude. Insecure people are afraid to compliment others because they think it makes them look smaller.
• True Maturity: Secure, mature people know that complimenting someone else doesn't dim their own light. Gratitude is an act of courage and redefines "manners" into "strength of character."

Summary: The Power of Gratitude

• No Debts: Never keep a "debt" of gratitude. Freely use "Thank you" and "Sorry" to appreciate help and clear misunderstandings immediately.

• Maturity: Gratitude is not just a formality; it is a sign of a secure and mature personality.

• Connection: Withholding thanks creates an emotional debt; while expressing it freely connects us to others and the divine.

2: Communicate with Mindfulness:

In an era of "doomscrolling" and constant digital distractions, true mindfulness has become a rare but essential communication skill. At its core, mindfulness is the practice of being completely present in the moment—observing thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgement.

 

The Pitfall of "Absent-Minded" Communication When we communicate without mindfulness, we fall into the trap of being "mentally absent." Whether it’s checking a phone when somebody is speaking with you or during a training session or browsing the web on phone while someone is speaking, this lack of attention creates a disconnect. This doesn't just lead to a lack of clarity and increased stress; it actively damages relationships. When a listener provides irrelevant answers or ignores the speaker’s intent, it signals a lack of respect and accountability.

There are the Three Core Pillars of Mindfulness:

To understand mindfulness, it helps to look at the three things you are doing simultaneously:

• Observation: Noticing what is happening right now (the sound of a bird, the feeling of your feet on the floor, or the specific words a speaker is using).

• Present Moment Focus: Steering your mind away from distractions like "what-if" (future) or "if-only" (past) and back to the "here and now."

•  Non-Judgment: Noticing a thought and letting it pass like a cloud, rather than reacting impulsively or losing focus on the conversation at hand.

The Mindful Advantage Mastering mindfulness in communication transforms how others perceive you. Mindfulness isn't just a "feel-good" exercise; it has measurable effects on the brain and body. By being fully present, you ensure:

• Clarity of Thought: You process information accurately and respond "to the point."

• Built Trust: People are more likely to engage with you when they feel heard and valued.

• Self-Esteem & Respect: Practicing mindfulness honors your own time and energy, naturally boosting your professional reputation and self-worth.

• Reduced Stress: It lowers cortisol levels and helps "dial down" the body's fight-or-flight response.

• Improved Focus: By training your "attention muscle," you become better at staying on task and resisting distractions.

• Emotional Regulation: It creates a "buffer zone" between a stimulus (like a rude email) and your reaction, allowing you to respond calmly.

• Physical Health: Research shows it can lower blood pressure, improve sleep quality, and even boost immune function.

Meditation is the training ground. It's a dedicated time where you sit and practice focus.

Mindfulness is the skill (like being strong in everyday life). It’s the ability to be present in the moment like studying, cooking, talking to a friend or working or even sight-seeing.

Mindfulness vs. Meditation

People often use these terms interchangeably, but there is a slight difference:

The Bottom Line: To move beyond small talk and master high-level communication, you must stop just "hearing" and start being truly present. Mindfulness is the bridge between a forgettable interaction and a meaningful connection.

 

About the Author - Chhaya Shinde is an Ethical Hacker, Technical Trainer, Software Tester and Blogger passionate about bridging the gap between technical skills and soft skills. With a background in conducting training sessions (including Linux and technical systems), she understands the importance of gratitude and mindfulness in professional environments. Through her Beyond Small Talk series, Chhaya shares practical wisdom on communication, mental well-being, and personal growth to help professionals navigate their careers with confidence and clarity.