In The Loop Of Thanks and Sorry

We as humans are social species who likes to be around people. Likes to interact with people. Likes to exchange thoughts with people. Likes to spend time with people. Sometimes our thought process and going in life match with some people and with some it doesn’t match.

1. Role of Personality:

Our personality is made up of what situation we brought up in, how we communicate with others, what values we carry while living life, what is priority for us while living life, are we kind and generous towards others or are we callous towards others, are we empathetic towards others, are we courteous, are we confidant with our thoughts, do we believe that we owe something to ourselves as well as to the entire humankind. These all aspects make our personality.

We all brought up in totally different environments depending on our cultures, our family values, our outlook towards life, our role models and our idols in life. Based on that we carry our emotions. We build some perspective towards life. We may develop some beliefs towards some people based on communicating with them. Which can generate positive and negative feelings for such people in our mind. We also carry our ego and superego with us from our childhood. Ideally while living life both should be in moderate and shouldn’t be overdo otherwise it disturbs the balance in life and creates different problems. We should protect our self esteem and other's too when we deal with others. We should not suppress by somebody not to aggress to somebody. And any person having too much ego is nothing less than having a disease. Generally, the ego may boost in anybody as per the knowledge of the person increases or it’s what kind of brought up the person get from the childhood. But to have a successful peaceful life this ego should be always keep in check though the knowledge and skills may increase in life. So the ideal situation look like as Albert Einstein says –

More the knowledge less the ego. Less the knowledge more the ego.

2. Era of Luxury:

If we see; in this era, we are living quite a luxurious life as humans. We have so many luxuries, so much comfort in our life as compared to human living in previous generations. Technology has really changed our life in a better way for daily living. If we look back to the previous times before 5-6 generations, the life was quite different with less luxuries, we had wars too, due to those times the challenging circumstances, too much load on the government, on the people living in the countries, disturbing economic conditions as well as disturbing ecosystem in the nature and so it was quite a disturbed life for human living in those countries also. In the present time we are blessed as we don’t have wars; we don’t have adverse living situations; we are living in peaceful era. Those who always grumble about something small small things are not good in the world they should look back to history and the painful and challenging times those people had gone through. On the top of that if we are living in the country like India, we are blessed by nature by both the hands. Thereafter to mention this that this blog is not only for citizens living in India. It is for all those who read this blog. So here count your blessings what you have rather than what you don't have. We have 2 magical words in our life i.e. Thanks and Sorry. If you use it timely and wherever needed then it changes your life in a much positive way, only the thing is that you should not use it for the sake of saying. Otherwise there is no meaning in it whether to say it or not.

3. Expressing Gratitude by saying Thanks:

Now in general if we talk about sunrising and sunset we have daily sun rising at specific time to begin the day with and sun sets at specific time to end the day. No major challenging climatical conditions, so many varieties of flowers, fruits, plants, trees and vegetables. For the entire world if we see Lord Sun is doing His duty tirelessly. Lord Sun is not only doing His duty tirelessly but with such a discipline, sincerity, equilibrium and still He doesn't have any ego of this work. He does this for all the living beings on the earth. God creates the living beings and Sun plays a role of nurturing them with its sunlight. But if we see human create artificial things and still for doing small work also, human carries so much ego of that. So human need to learn a lot from the nature. Human in general owe a big thanks to the Lord Sun. Because of His this work the entire life is nurturing on this earth. 

Now the question is why the discussion is diverting towards the nature. So, to tell we as humans are living on earth have so much variety of green vegetables, plants, trees, birds, small and large creatures, animals and beautiful nature to look around in different seasons. Seasons automatically changes and Mother nature does it’s work accordingly. We owe a big thanks to Mother Earth for all this. Then to Mother Nature. Mother Earth is extremely tolerant. You can’t count its tolerance. She bears so much from all creatures living on this earth, still she forgives all. Such a big heart. So much courtesy she has. Do we express gratitude to Her? If no then we must be expressing gratitude to Her, to Lord Sun and to Mother nature. And to mention to Mother Earth we should daily express our gratitude and ask for her forgiveness for touching Earth by our feet. Mother nature showers so much love in terms of variety of blooming flowers, changing seasons, growing different vegetables, fruits, kind of plants, the beautiful colors around us in nature. It made our lives so much colorful and beautiful. If somebody ask me about my favorite color I could say I like all the colors because all the colors are so beautiful God created in nature that how can we differentiate between these colors. All these colors carry a sense of unique beauty in them let that be nature’s dark green, leaf’s parrot green, Cassia’s blood red or orange, the cyan or light blue of sky, the white of jasmine or the yellow of champak etc.  It makes our day delightful. Daily we should express our gratitude to Mother Nature to surround us with so much beauty. We must say Thanks to Lord Sun, Mother Earth and Mother Nature for all this. Now this is about nature.

If we start implementing same thing in our daily life or having a habit of gratitude towards the good things happened and happening in our daily life it really makes a lot of difference to our lives. A very important habit is a habit of looking at what you have in your life rather than what you lack in your life. When we can make ourselves happy then only we can create a happy environment around us. A small thanks to anybody around us who make our life happier by little too, will help us only to lighten their face. So why we become miserly in this. We shouldn’t let our ego or shyness or judgmental attitude to come in between that. Express gratitude wherever and whenever necessary.  We should not let the judgmental attitude to come in between expressing gratitude to others who help us some or other way.

We should express gratitude to our family members or friends too. Generally, we take our family members or best friends for granted and don’t feel like expressing gratitude towards them. Taking some relation for granted or some person for granted could be a big mistake in life. Because we are all humans made up of blood and flesh and we all have emotions. So, everybody needs appreciation, thankful gestures in life. If somebody say they don't expect appreciation for something then they pretend to say so. Only a true spiritually ascended person may not expect any appreciation from any human because that person is already above all this and very much interested in pleasing God and not to humans.

So, appreciate with the open heart your family members, your friends, or best friends, to your colleagues, to the strangers who help you by some or other way. A simple thanks from the heart or the habit of expressing gratitude bring us a longer delightful feeling. As well as it helps you to keep your feet always on the ground. Some people have habit of expressing gratitude for 5 good things happened to them in a day. It is really very useful habit. It boosts your morale. When saying thank you to anybody don’t hesitate, don’t have second thought, as it is said that we learn some or other things from each and every person in this world. So, keep habit of saying thank you whenever and wherever necessary and if you feel you don't have ego that's good. But if you feel it could be your ego because of which you are not able to say thanks to somebody then also work on your ego and don't let your ego to come in between it. Otherwise, if you realize that you owe a thanks to somebody still if you don’t say then you always carry a silent guilty burden on you in life.

4. Saying Sorry: 

As I mentioned before while living life, we understand that our thoughts may or may not match with others, may be with the family members, colleagues at work or friends. Now when dealing with somebody you may do mistakes so you must say sorry to them and come out of that situation to bring peace to the situation. When we are at mistake that that time to say sorry to other person is a normal expected behavior, which should be done. Thereafter I have seen some people male/female though grown ups or elders quite immature and egoistic and find it very difficult to say sorry for their mistakes also. They find saying sorry is like climbing a mountain. And in such situation some in order to cover up their mistake don't say sorry but they do some more weird things which lead them to do immoral things also. Which again increases their problems. So it is needed to keep it simple and sorted.

Many times, we noticed that if it is not our mistake too still we are blamed. And if the opposite person is quite immature or egoistic then to patch up, to lessen our trouble or bring peace in the situation we need to say sorry. Here we should know what is important to us whether peace of our mind or revolving in these unpleasant situations. Having ego is different than being egoistic. Everybody should have ego for their sustenance only but not to act as egoistic.

Now when we are not at mistake then also it's ok to say sorry or forgive the other person. Yes, when you are not at mistake and other person may be fool, or egoistic or not able to adjust with situation then also you to say sorry to the other person is not a big deal, this way you can bring peace to yourself and to the situation. After that if you want then you can ignore the other person also. Our ultimate goal in our life should be to live peacefully and happily and not to waste time in useless chaos in these situations. But before all this it is important to analyze the situation from neutral point of view and then to say who is at mistake. If you are not able to analyze the situation then try to get the analysis by a third person's neutral point of view. And forgive the person. Later you can decide whether to ignore the communication with the other person in order to bring peace to you. It requires a courageous heart to forgive others. A courteous nature to say sorry when you are not at mistake. If the other person is not able to adjust with the situation in spite of their mistake you can adjust for your emotional wellbeing. 

There is joke for this. 2 people are going on staircases one is climbing the staircase and other is getting down. And at one point they come face to face where one has to climb the next step and other has to get down from the staircase. Now who will step back. The person who was getting down says 'I don't move for fools.' So the person who was climbing the stairs he step back, smiled and he says ' But i do.'  😄. So just by saying sorry or forgiving another person you actually do nothing; you just come out of that unpleasant loop. So just say sorry and come out of that. This way you do favor to you. But when you don’t forgive others for their mistakes you actually play in the wrong hands and create more harm to your emotions and yourself.

This is just simply writing it but is it that simple? The business of forgiving somebody or saying sorry for their mistakes. Absolutely not. It requires higher level of maturity and a big and courageous heart to forgive somebody who harm your emotion wellbeing somehow, let whoever that person is whether a family member or outsider. If you are lucky in life you meet some quite wonderful people in your life who change your life miraculously in a good way and if you are unlucky somewhere then you find some bad; or not so good people in your life who really mess a lot with your emotions and then you find it impossible to forgive such people. Till you don't forgive them you play a constant battle in your mind. And that one should not do. 

We should always move forward in life and not to look back and not to be in touch with those people who once created problems in your life. Because if again you come in contact with them you are doing harm to your emotions and move back and forth in your emotions. If you think that the person may have changed; it never happen so. If you again keep contact with them some or other day again you will see the unhappiness caused by them in your life. 

The impact of somebody does bad to you is more than good may be that’s why a human has general tendency to remember something bad somebody done to you rather than what good that person does for you. The more one live with reality and practically the more good it is for the wellbeing of the person. If we need to learn something from nature to this ; is that when you see how a river is flowing,  continuously though some small, big stones come in her way and that too in the forward direction. So like this human life's should be always flowing and that to in the forward direction, no need to look back and not to be in touch with not so good connections.

To summarize this i don't mean to say sorry, sorry and thank you, thank you all the time; not at all. But whenever and wherever necessary say it, say it from heart , don't hesitate. Because we live in the world ;in the loop of thanks and sorry. And especially for gratitude feelings and expressing gratitude to others ; when you do it;  it works like magic, it draws lot of good vibrations towards you in your life and you yourself feel the difference.