Being Happy In Life I

Disclaimer:At many places in this article he/his/him is used. This is just to ease the writing otherwise this article directs to she/her also.

Everyone born in this world get the desire to stay happy and healthy in life. But what is being happy in life? Is it the only state of mind or the inner feeling one get while  handling the daily chores and responsibilities? Well today's world is world full of competition. Everyone is trying to prove; how he is doing well than others. This competition is really creating lot of stress to the people. You can see this competition everywhere in every sphere of life. In short stress has become part of our life. We can't avoid it but we can prevent it. A person who is fade up of the stressful situation will try to seek happiness in life in various ways. But in order to tackle any situation which is creating unhappy situation, we should have that maturity in mind, patience and positivity towards life.

You should be rich in thoughts. We can gain this richness most of the time by our wise elders, mentors, role models, influencers and by books. We can get this richness of thoughts by the way of our brought up also. I really realized this proverb that 'Books are the friends of a wise one'. Books give you immense knowledge; the knowledge that no one can snatch from you, no one can steal from you, no one can misguide you on that knowledge. Books really give you such a nice treat in your life that many times you realize that you got a friend which taught you so many things in life, broaden your perspective towards life. They make you understand and learn life, refreshes your mind, they make you happy when you feel disappointed and they guide you in life when you are confused of taking decisions in life. So if you realized books are important part of your life ; it will help you living happily in your life.

You are the one who can monitor your mind, cultivate your mind. Here only the happiness of your life rises. No one knows your mind better than you. Instead of going to outer sources in order to know your mind, its better you to cultivate your mind with better study of it. It is not so easy in this world to always stay happy because there are so many diversions, some negative people in your path who always distracts your mind from staying happy and pleasant. So we need to practice for those exercises in our mind; that it will always remain happy, healthy and pleasant.

From our childhood whatever experiences that influence us that collective being is called mind. I know if we say I am strong person could be the more sensitive person in mind. There is thinner line in between professional and personal life. When we behave professionally we pretend to; because our internal value system, beliefs may be different that we use in personal life than the professional life. e.g. In personal life you may be introvert but in professional life for certain roles you need not be introvert otherwise it blocks your further progress. Here you can create your temperament this way only that you don't need to pretend anything in professional life, you become the same person in professional life and in personal life too. It is true and so we should better balance the situation where we should be strong and sensible. Taking care of mind to make it healthy creates a healthy body. And then to nurture it healthy is again a task. Because this healthy mind only sustains happiness in your life.

We should practice our mind to become happy always, its going to create positive vibrations to ourself as well to our surroundings. So we'll see the things which can retain your happy state of mind. Our thinking should be maximum time with positive thoughts. It is said that -

 Watch your thoughts, 

 They make your words

 Watch your words, 

 They make your actions

 Watch your actions 

 They make your habits

 Watch your habits

 They make your character

 Watch your character 

 They make your destiny

Always thinking positive thoughts doesn't mean just ignore the possibility of negative situations. No. It may vary from situation to situation. But to mention not to be drawn in those negative thoughts. As well as we should mentor our mind this way that in the worst situation also it should be ready to accept the situation and face it. Though it actually is very difficult thing. It is like having less or no expectations from the situation. Where the expectations are less  there the enjoyment of life is more because in this you don't let the other despairs to become part of your life. As well as we should always try to stay away from those people who create negative vibrations for us, who has negative thinking and who always grudge about the situation whatever it is, good or bad. As well as for a person to live happily it is always important to protect his self- esteem. So have better self esteem, don't get suppressed by anybody. Not being aggressive also. By suppression you will get guilt and that guilt again creates unhappiness in you. 

For any human there could be three types of problems in this world, which can make us unhappy. Like people, person and money. Here we see first problem. That is problem with people. The world is full of variety of personalities in human being. We talk with people, we listen to people and this way we start dealing with changing thought process. Everyone born in different environment and grow up with different values and principles in life. When person start dealing with other people in society at various level the misunderstandings, perceptions and conflicts develop. Which directly creates problem with pride, irritation, stress and unhappiness. Here it is very important that the individual should have maturity in thoughts. A mind which is rich in thoughts and very well mentored to handle the situation so that instead of unhappiness it should create happiness for him. There are some situations which need attention on priority, some situations which are to be tackled with time and some situations to let go. As no one is perfect. Everyone learns either from situations or from experiences or from elders in the family. It depends. But the end result should be for that situation whatever action is taken was that fruitful?  Did the person learned something from it and most importantly after the situation how much time the individual took to bring back the happiness in his life. So one has to understand the surrounding problems and implementing solutions on it. So that it will help the person to sustain happiness in him.

 

As we grow up from childhood to teenager to adult we interact with people. Some children from starting they are shy, some are bold, some are timid of unknown people. So those who are shy and timid of unknown people as they grow up as a young person if the fear of unknown people doesn't go away from their heart they get scared of talking to unknown people or to a crowd of people may be related to their studies or office assignments. It creates again stress in them and then they start questioning about their abilities. So parents noticing these kind of fears and helping children to overcome it may help that child to grow further in personal life and in professional life. Here again parents should not put their over expectations on children. Instead of this parents should be their best friend, they should help the child and the teenager to grow in a much healthy environment. It Is the more of the a parents responsibility to make their child a good citizen, a person who can live life ethically, smartly, honestly, most importantly, learning the way to live the life happily without taking extra burden of it.

It is said that Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj has to be Shivaji Maharaj.(Shivaji (born February 19, 1630, or April 1627, Shivner, Poona [now Pune], India—died April 3, 1680, Raigad) was an individual who opposed the Mughal dynasty and founded the Maratha kingdom in 17th-century India). Jijabai was the Mother of Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj and she used to tell him all the time stories of Swaraj- "स्वराज"(self-rule or self governance), Swatantra- "स्वातंत्र्य"(Independence) and humanity. So he used to hear these stories at the time he wakes up, at the lunch time, at the dinner time and while sleeping. So if a mother like Jijabai nurtures the child this way, then it is obvious she would have a son like Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj. So there is huge contribution of Jijabai in making Shivaji Maharaj as a great king like none other than him. So to tell ; the parents play a great role in the foundation of making their son or daughter as good citizen. I belief not only a good citizen of the country but a child should be grown up to become the good citizen of the world. 

Apart from this in our schools all the subjects are taught except how to stay happy in life. Finding happiness in small things in life is very important. Many times we have shortcomings and it get noticed by others like triggering anger, short temper. If this is noted by 4-5 people then definitely instead of fighting with other people that you don't have these shortcomings. Sit down and introspect on this and find a solution to minimize it. It definitely increases happiness in your life.

Generally children get the habits from their parents. Just a example if the children see their parents are kind to others so the children do. Otherwise children become arrogant and does not aware of other people's problems. They unknowingly developed more ego in them. And that only create further problems for that growing child ; as the child become less sensitive to other's problems and more egoistic in order to nurture their own ego and it is said that when you are good to others you are best to yourself. Because when the aggression and ego is less, it is not working negatively in your body. So further problems can be minimized. Less aggression and less ego can help the person to be kind with themselves and others , to take things lightly and not to give to much importance to their pride and help them to live life happily.

Then the problem with person. As everyone is unique and as everyone has their own value system and principles in life. Even here to mention one thing that if you have somebody in your life to have intellectual discussion, discussion on diverse topics in life and when your thoughts matches with the other person then it is the intellectual feast you have in your life. And you should thank God for this. Because it may rarely happen that your thoughts match with somebody. 

When your thoughts doesn't match. As far as the person you are dealing with is not so closed person then it's ok, you can easily deal with that situation or you can opt to have limited discussion with that person. But when you will have to mandatorily bear with that person in your life for a longer time then what you will do? Then it is a trouble and you may understand that it is the life playing it's cards on you. It is nuisance. It is a stressful situation, can disturb your mind and can create unhappiness in your life. So when we deal with some individual and where doesn't look so easy middle point to the kind of conflict or communication with that person. It is just disturbing and irritating you. If the same situation triggers again and again then it leads to more unhappiness in life. Here also we need to have maturity in mind to deal with this problem and many times we need to take some concrete decisions in our life to fix this situations and to bring back happiness in our life. But if they are blood relations like parents then obviously there would be generation gap and one should know with these conflicts how to create happy environment with them. As well as to preserve the happiness of our mind.

         
The third type of problem is money. I call money as Vitamin M also. Many people have most of the problems concerned with money which leads to unhappiness in life. In today’s era we are hiding behind a false so called status quo. Our demands are increasing to live life lavishly. We pay huge EMI’s to buy a very big house to get a label to live in a  society with status quo. Then for paying those fat EMIs people get tremendous stress and loose their peace of mind. Is it very much needed? There is nothing wrong in buying expensive houses or whatever. But everyone should very well know their limits. If you can easily afford the big house then it's ok. But if you have to take it at the cost of your health and peace of mind. Then is it worthy? Know your expectations from life. Whether to live happily or running behind false things in life and loosing peace of mind. 

You should know the difference between need and luxury. It should not be like just went for Window shopping in grocery mall and bought 60% items which you were not needing much; was not a necessity but just you felt enticing to your eyes so you bought it. It is not a wise move. And I have seen many educated people do this. So just getting education is not important but getting wisdom is also important. Earning money is difficult but spending is not. So spending money wisely is very important and that too not by becoming miserly also. I have seen some men and women are extremely greedy about money, fame, gold, shopping and expansive things in life. Will it increase 4 more days in their life? Absolutely not; actually the greed in them tires their internal organs and in fact lessen their 2 days from their life. Contentment in life is very important. 

When some person buy one car, as it enjoys the car it felt like buying another car. Then something different. First enjoy the first car then go for second or whatever. But this thing doesn't apply then you can easily afford the other car. Economical law says human desires never get fulfilled. So one should know well what all things it want in life and what is just a more of not wanting but a extra desire. So it can put full stop somewhere to uncontrollable desires in life. There is no meaning at all in running behind uncontrollable materialistic things in life. Because if the greed is too much it may make the person to choose the wrong path also in life for getting it and if the greed is too much then if not chosen wrong path but greed disturbs the persons peace of mind in life. Which ultimately bring unhappiness in that persons life. So one need introspection in this to think through and find solutions to situations and should be thankful to God for whatever they are getting in life. So contentment directly increases more happiness in life. 

As well as living in present moment is very important in life. There are small small problems in life we should always try to analyze and come up with a solution for it. Looking at ourself from far from a neutral perspective and working on the things to fix it really changes our life on a happy mode. This way today’s human has to be very patient and consistent while maintaining his happy state of mind.

Being Happy In Life - I by Chhaya Shinde